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Life After Divorce: Rediscovering YOU

We’re all familiar with the drudgeries of an ending a relationship, but what about the positives…like rediscovering YOU?

I’ve been up close and personal with the downfall of getting lost in raising your children and being a wife. You put SO MUCH into all of them, that you lose yourself in the process. For a while, it’s no big deal. You are so busy with their needs (and rightly so) but at some point someone asks you what you like to do and you don’t even know how to answer! (I KNOW you’ve had that deer-in-headlights feeling when the only things you can come up with are watching the Wiggles and Minecraft videos.)

I also know how the end of a marriage feels…completely suffocating. You aren’t comfortable in your own home, bed, anything. You shrink even more and more into yourself, unable to bear anything besides surviving. But then suddenly you are in your own space and completely free!! You feel great! The kids go to their dad’s for the weekend and…now what? Once you clean the house….what are you doing to do?

Take this time to rediscover the you you lost over the years. What did the younger version of you love to do? What were your hobbies? Your hopes? Your dreams for you life?

I was lucky enough to find a notebook I filled with these things from my very early 20’s. Wow, it was eye opening! Some of the things I had achieved, some I had forgotten about, and some I had sort of started gravitating back to. I auditioned for a play and got a part at the local theatre alongside my daughter. I auditioned for the next one, too, and got a great role. Rediscovering my love of theatre was absolutely amazing, and freeing. It helped rebuild my confidence in myself, and gave me an outlet to meet new people and enjoy new things. This year, I’m helping direct our homeschool group’s play. Next year, who knows?

If you’re not lucky enough to have a notebook treasure trove, take some time and really go back in your mind to your younger, happier days, and recall what you loved to do. Feel what it was like back then, and what made you happy. Now go find a way to do those things again! Watch the tv shows you stopped watching because your spouse didn’t like them. (I’m definitely going revisit ER one day, and right now I’m watching Gilmore Girls!) Did you draw? Scuba dive? Ice skate? Write? Whatever it was, GO DO IT!!!!

 

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