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Life After Separation/Divorce: You Don’t Have to be Lonely

All of a sudden you found yourself something you’d probably rarely ever been — alone — and if not alone, then lonely. What are you going to do with yourself now that it’s just you?

Depending on your custody situation, you could find yourself alone a lot more than you are used to, or just a little bit more. For me, I was often alone with my kids for days or weeks at a time due to their dad’s job, so the solo parenting thing didn’t feel terribly different. If anything, I’m almost never alone, it seems!

But loneliness doesn’t just come from being physically alone…it comes from the lack of a companion, adult conversation, a partner, a former best friend. It’s hard. Sometimes we all pine for someone to hang out with, confide in, share time with. It can be depressing, right?

That’s where we have to nip it in the bud. This new life is for us to grow, be positive, and reignite our dreams. There’s no time to wallow!

The coolest part? You have no one to impress now but YOU. No one to criticize your interests or limit your time to explore new things. The world is yours to conquer!

Ideas to Fight Loneliness

  1. Make time for friends. It can be as simple as setting up play groups for the kids while the adults drink coffee, girls’ night out a couple times a month, or meet a friend for coffee (see a theme? I like coffee. Friends, now you know how to make me happy….)
  2. Explore hobbies old and new. Do you like to sew, quilt, crochet, or knit? Go to the local shop and see when they have classes, or group projects, or a club meeting. Even if you don’t know how or want to learn, go talk to them! Michaels has lots of art classes, baking, etc. I got back into theatre at my local community theatre. Find a horse club. Whatever your interest, there’s a group out there I bet!
  3. Sign up for sports or clubs. Our parks and rec department has adult softball and other offerings. I’m going to sign up for kickball so I can meet some new people, exercise, and have some fun!
  4. There’s always online dating. When you’re ready, the world of online dating is an excellent option. And I don’t mean Tinder, either. (Unless you are looking for a hookup, then by all means, go for it! No shame!) I’m not there yet, but it seems like a better option than going to bars, and you’re sure to be connected with someone you have something in common with. If anything, at least you might make a friend and have some good conversation.

Get creative. Be adventurous. This is your second chance at happiness, so make the most of it!